Can time and new knowledge heal decade old wounds?
About That’s Not Love
That’s Not Love is manga series by Peko Watanabe, published in English by Kodansha. The story resolves around Akane, a 40-year-old wife and mom who freelances as a translator. She’s not very happy in her life and drinks, a lot. When an old cram-school teacher is doing an art exhibition in town, one of his pieces looks eerily similar to Yukari, her old friend. The similarities feel so striking it pushes Akane to reach out to Yukari, and reflect on their friendship from all those years ago.
Now as an adult and as a mom to a teen, Akane is realizing that what happened in the past with Yukari and the cram-school teacher, Mr. Imai, may not have been the love story she thought it was. Is it too late to take action now?
My Thoughts
Wow. I haven’t felt this unsettled by a story in a long time. This is not an easy story by any means, but I believe that is what makes this manga worth reading. We start with Akane in her present day, already struggling to get by. She’s drinking sake before meeting with old friends and feels so out of place with them. She’s feeling so stuck and stifled, but is also struggling to articulate what exactly she is feeling. When she starts thinking back to her friend Yukari, we get a clear picture of how she saw herself then and how she carries that now.
In middle school, Akane was chubby and self deprecating. She’d make jokes about her weight and appearance, to get it out of the way first. It isn’t until she meets Yukari that someone tells her, “hey, don’t do that. I don’t see you that way.” Yukari is beautiful and feels to be everything Akane wishes she could be. When the cram school teacher starts paying attention to Yukari, Akane feels jealous. And of course she would, she’s 14 with zero sense of right and wrong. All she knows is her friend is getting attention and that doesn’t make her feel good. As a result, she dismisses the fact that Yukari had been asking her for help.
In the present, we see Akane is still putting together what really happened with Mr. Imai and Yukari. When she tracks Yukari down to tell her about the art piece, it’s like Akane still isn’t seeing what was so wrong about the relationship with Mr. Imai. It’s frustrating to read how Akane is focusing on herself in this moment but I think it’s all too real. Akane isn’t viewing the situation from her adult self, she’s viewing it as how she was in that moment: a 14 year old. But this interaction, as painful as it is, is needed for Akane to wake up and see how much this relationship pains Yukari now.
This story is complicated and I don’t know if there’s a just resolution for Yukari in sight. But even with just this first volume, I can tell that the work Akane and Yukari need to do is so important. This volume was centered a lot on Akane so I’m hoping the next one is focuses more on Yukari. We got to know some of her and how Mr. Imai taking advantage of her has pained her all this time, but I know we have yet to scratch the surface.
That’s Not Love does an incredible job at taking a difficult matter as an older man taking advantage of a teen and showcasing how it can have a devastating and long term impact. It’s dark, messy, and difficult. In one moment it can feel okay and in another earth-shattering. But the story also gives some hope that no matter how long has passed, you can work towards healing and moving forward.
Where to Buy That’s Not Love 1
That’s Not Love 1
Mangaka: Peko Watanabe
Translator: Sawa Matsueda Savage
Letterer: Madeleine Jose
Editor: Maggie Le
Publisher: Kodansha
That’s Not Love 1 releases on 5/26 and is available for preorder now.
Thank you to Kodansha and NetGalley for the ARC!
