REVIEW: Smells Like Green Spirit

Smells Like Green Spirit and this review of it contains mention of bullying, homophobia, transphobia, sexual assault of a minor, and suicidal ideation. This review also contains some spoilers.

About Smells Like Green Spirit

Smells Like Green Spirit is a manga series by Saburo Nagai, published in English by Kodansha. This edition is an omnibus containing volumes one and two. The story follows Mishima, a middle school student who stands out for being different. He has long hair and is bullied every single day for being gay. His primary bully is Kirino, the ace of the soccer team. When he catches Kirino trying on the lipstick he lost, it forces Kirino to come clean about who he really is. The secret brings the two together in a new way as they navigate what it means to be different in a small town.

My Thoughts

This is a complicated story. At times it made me laugh but more often than not, it made me extremely sad, and sometimes uncomfortable. The story centers around the theme of “Pandora’s Box.” The “Pandora’s Box” is the part of the characters that they are shoving down to the deepest, darkest corners of themselves to survive. While the story focuses the most on Mishima and Kirino and their coming to terms with their identities and sexuality, we also have two side characters that also are also struggling with their own “Pandora’s Box”: Yumeno, another one of Mishima’s tormentors, and Yanagida, a teacher who assaults Mishima.

Mishima

For Mishima, his “Pandora’s Box” that is the fact he is gay. He enjoys putting on his mom’s lipstick, his long hair, and pretty looks, but he knows there is no way he can be openly gay. He has accepted that he will also have to live with this secret for the rest of his life. When he discovers Kirino’s secret, he has have some respite that maybe he doesn’t have to live in secrecy all his life. Because Mishimo has always understood himself, I think this makes him sympathetic to this “Pandora’s Box” dilemma. As a result, when he realizes Kirino and Yumeno have been bullying him because they are questioning their identities and sexuality, he’s not focused on getting revenge or pushing them away. Similarly, when Yanagida assaults him, Mishima doesn’t want to pursue anything because he thinks this is a result of Yanagida suppressing his sexuality. (More on this later.)

Initially, it’s easy to want to shake Mishima and tell him that even though he’s sympathetic, he doesn’t have to be kind and graceful to people who have hurt him on multiple occasions. But for him, who has kept his sexuality buried in the darkest corners of his soul, he understands how hard living with this secret is. I don’t think you have to extend grace and understanding to people who harm you. But I can understand why Mishima, who’s been alone in this struggle, chooses to do so with people he understands are struggling too.

Kirino

Please note, for this section I am using he/him pronouns as used in the story.

My sweet darling Kirino. I’ve shed so many tears for Kirino, and every time I think of Kirino my heart hurts. While it isn’t said explicitly, like when he admits he is gay, we can kind of guess that he may be trans or is experiencing some gender dysphoria. In secret with Mishimo, Kirino talks like a girl and refers to himself as a girl. Kirono admits he always bullied Mishima because Mishima had everything he didn’t. Mishima was small and pretty. He represented everything Kirino couldn’t openly be. Because Kirino felt so much guilt in his heart for hurting his mother, he ends up choosing to hide his true self and live a “normal” life. At the end of the story, we see that he is married to a woman and has children.

This tears me apart every single time I think about it. I understand why Kirino chooses to live this way and I know that this is the reality millions of queer people are currently facing. Not everyone can live their lives as their true selves, whether its for safety, social or familial expectations, or some other reasons. Even if this isn’t the ending that I wanted for Kirino I understand that his story and it ending like this is important to showcase as well. It doesn’t make it hurt any less, though.

Yanagida

Now, let me say this right out, Yanagida is a predator. There is zero excuse for his actions targeting and sexually assaulting Mishima. Full stop. There is no explanation, justification, or reasoning with this. As I mentioned earlier, Mishima is sympathetic to Yanagida. Mishima realizes during his assault that Yanagida is hurting and Mishima feels that this is a result of Yanagida suppressing his “Pandora’s Box” all of these years. Mishima knows what Yanagida did to him is wrong but is also looking for way to explain it. Luckily, Kirino rightfully stops Mishima from trying to look at the situation through this lens.

I initially didn’t like Yanagida’s inclusion in this story and it still makes me feel uncomfortable. I still struggle to understand if I believe this “arc” was necessary at all. However, I think it does a great job of showcasing how multiple truths can co-exist. Yanagida was harmed by homophobia; he could never be his true self. He’s lived for years hating himself and what happened in the past. But, when he channels his pain through his authority as a teacher and then uses that to abuse Mishima, he’s no longer a victim. He’s a perpetrator looking to pacify his pain by inflicting that pain on to others.

Yumeno

I saved Yumeno for last because I also am conflicted on my feelings for him. Yumeno and Kirino team up to bully Mishima, and just like Kirino, Yumeno is projecting his feelings onto Mishima. But in Yumeno’s case, he’s angry and confused that he likes Mishima. So instead of processing those feelings, he chooses to bully Mishima. But when Kirino stops bullying Mishima and then Yanagida starts targeting Mishima, Yumeno starts changing his tune. After he saves Mishima from Yanagida, he confesses to Mishima that he has feelings for him. However, after they make out and Yumeno realizes/remembers Mishima is a boy, he runs away, further hurting Mishima. A year later he realizes he can’t stop thinking of Mishima and they end up together in the future.

I never enjoy “bully turns out to be gay and in love with the main character” in queer stories because although it is a real experience, it’s not everyone’s experience. I don’t think it’s okay for a queer kid to be made to accept someone’s love when that person caused them harm. However, in the context of this specific story, taking place in this small town, I’m a tiny bit less inclined to out right hate it. Because ultimately, I get it. I get it in the way the author was presenting it. Both Kirino and Yumeno hurt Mishima, but they were also hurting. Doesn’t make it right but it makes sense in this context.

Overall

Although the story hurts and made me uncomfortable at times, I do believe it is an important story that needed to be told. There’s so much it gets into, even more so than I covered here. But if there’s any take away from this story I think people should walk away with is how much a person can save you. Mishima and Kirino were both suffering alone so much and although their paths diverged, that one summer they had together ended up being their salvation. Both Kirino and Mishima were able to be their truest selves in a place that was suffocating their every pore. They were able to laugh together, process trauma, cry together, and dream of a better tomorrow. While Kirino was not able to live as his true self, I believe that for him, remembering the summer he shared with Mishima gave him hope that one day he would reach his utopia. I pray he makes it there.

Where to Buy Smells Like Green Spirit

Thank you to Kodansha and NetGalley for the ARC!